The story of Mary and Martha although not extensively written about in the New Testament, their names and story are very familiar. Mary and Martha were sisters and their brother, Lazarus, was raised from the dead by Jesus in whom the three had a close and personal relationship.
Martha was the eldest and like many older brothers and sisters, Martha had the annoying tendency to boss the younger siblings. A trait developed while growing up, so Martha was quite acquainted with being in control.
It was a social requirement to be hospitable in their culture and in those days, you would not turn away anyone who came to your door. It is no wonder that Mary, Martha, and Lazarus are remembered for their hospitality.
The hospitality ministry is a gift. There are many aspects to hospitality from welcoming guests, making sure their guests are comfortable, and there is plenty of food. This requires resourcefulness, organization, and a team that works well together as Mary and Martha usually did and they are the finest hospitality team mentioned in the Bible. Jesus Christ was their most frequent guest.
Martha concerned herself with details, as she wished to please by doing the right thing and to serve. But in so doing, those around her became uncomfortable. As the eldest, she possibly feared shame as she felt it was her responsibility to have her home and hospitality measure up to expectations. She did everything within her power to make sure that did not happen. As a result, Martha found it difficult to relax and enjoy her guests.
As for Mary, hospitality was to be more concerned about giving attention to her guests than meeting their needs. She would rather socialize than cook. Mary also, preferred visiting with her guests instead of the cleanliness of her home, or if her meals were served in a timely manner.
Martha took her hospitality responsibilities seriously and Mary was comfortable with Martha taking charge of those details. Accepting Mary’s lack of cooperation in assisting with the preparations was even harder.
We see when Jesus came to visit, Mary choose to sit at His feet and listen to His teachings. In the ancient world, this was a common posture for a disciple of any teacher. But as was the practice, disciples were routinely male, so Mary was quite possibly breaking rules that were strictly reserved for the males. Jesus put aside the long-established role of women and encourage Mary to think and learn. He supported Mary in listening, contemplate ideas, and develop her mind. Mary should not be held to the traditions of the day instead be permitted as the Jewish men were to access ideas.
In keeping with tradition, Martha was not asking for help but demanded that Mary keep to her rule. Martha’s sense of frustration was so overwhelming that she asked Jesus to step in and settle the matter. Jesus instead of siding with her respectfully corrected her attitude and expressed to her that her priorities needed to be adjusted. Personal attention given to her guests should have been more important than the comfort she provided for them.
Mary became a woman of worship because of her actions. Some think she was the woman who washed Jesus’s feet with expensive perfume and her hair.
It seems Martha did not learn the lesson following the death of Lazarus, as she could not control herself. Lazarus had been dead for four days. “So when Jesus came, He found that he had already been in the tomb four days” (John 11:17). Upon hearing Jesus was finally coming, she rushed to meet him and quickly expressed her inner conflict of disappointment and hope. “Then Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met Him, but Mary was sitting in the house. 21 Now Martha said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You’” (John 11:20-22). Jesus explained to Martha that her hope was limited. He was not only the Lord beyond death, but in fact the Lord over death – the resurrection and the life! “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die” (John 11:25-26).
Once again Martha expressed her concern without thinking, stating that a four-day-old corpse has started their decomposition. Sometimes Martha’s attention to detail prevented her from seeing the whole picture. Jesus maintained His patience with her.
Martha finally learnt the lesson of serving. As she is serving Jesus and His disciples, she does so in silence. It looks as though she learnt what Mary already knew – that worship begins with silence and listening.
On the other hand, Mary seemed to have a deep understanding of why Jesus was going to die. Even better than the disciples. Her actions led Jesus to say her act of worship would be heard worldwide, along with the gospel. It would be an example of costly service.
Strengths and Weaknesses
Mary and Martha’s personalities were such that they complemented each other. Martha was a go-getter who organized and ran a rather large household. Mary, on the other hand, was a thinker interested in ideas.
Just like us, both Mary and Martha showed strengths and weaknesses. Martha’s strengths included that she was known as the perfect hostess, her faith in Jesus grew, and had a tenacious desire to do everything perfectly.
Martha’s weaknesses were expecting everyone to agree with her priorities, was consumed with details (perfectionist), and when her efforts were not recognized, she tended to feel sorry for herself, and limited Jesus’s power to only this life.
Mary’s strength was possibly that she was the only person who accepted and understood Jesus’s approaching death. She even took the time to anoint his feet while He was still alive. She also learned when it was time to listen and when to act.
In conclusion, there is no question that both Mary and Martha loved Jesus. On this one occasion, as in times past, they both were serving Jesus. Martha although thought that Mary’s serving was not appropriate and in fact inferior to her own. Martha failed to realize that in her desire to serve, she was neglecting Jesus, her guest. Like Martha, we sometimes find serving Christ it turns into busywork which no longer becomes full devotion to God.
A couple of lessons to learn from Martha is not to get caught up in the details that we forget the main reasons for our actions and most importantly, there is a time to listen to Jesus and the right time to work for Him.
The one lesson Mary learned was that busyness can get in the way of knowing God on a personal level. Also acts of obedience along with service have widespread effects.
On a personal note, serving and putting others first has always been a priority in my life. I enjoy making sure others are comfortable and taken care of before I tend to my own needs. That is why when asked by my pastor to head up the Helps and Hospitality ministry I gladly accepted. This ministry was intertwined closely with other ministries and as we were a new church our membership grew weekly, it soon came to the point that all I was doing was serving.
Like Martha, after several years, I felt frustration building in me. I still enjoyed serving but it got to the point whenever I was at church I was serving in some capacity. I rarely had the opportunity to sit down and get fed with the message. The result was instead of speaking to the pastor about my frustration, I stepped down from the ministry and eventually left the church.
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